For many parents, the hardest decision they make is deciding who will receive custody of their children if the worst were to happen. My husband and I fought discussed this matter with great consideration for years. We opted for the road less traveled… instead of who is the closest to the children, who is in best health or financially stable, who “wanted” them more- we opted for who would respect OUR wishes. After all, we still will be their parents, the decisions should still be ours, and we should still be respected as such in the case of our premature passing.
Once we established who this person was, I was off to make a list for them:
- All efforts shall be made to continue the current lifestyle the children have.
- Each child’s talents shall be nurtured by whatever means possible. (In regards to sports, music, computers, etc.)
- The children shall continue to be homeschooled until high school. At which time the maturity and interest of each high school age child shall be taken into consideration. If a child is placed in a public/private high school and is not displaying proper behavior and maturity, they shall return home to continue schooling immediately.
- Technical college may be considered for each age appropriate child.
- No dating until 17
That was just a brief synopsis of what was described, but these are our biggies. It is important to remember that the person(s) who will have custody of your children can only respect your wishes that they are aware of. Don’t assume they pay attention to everything you say or do – write it down!
Although our person’s financial situation was not our deciding factor, we have made sure that they are financially able to respect our wishes in regards to homeschooling. After all, for many of us, the decision to homeschool meant a change of lifestyle, living on a single income, and adjustments were made. If the person(s) you have chosen to care for your children currently works outside of their home – they too will be experiencing these changes in order to respect your wishes. It is important to make your request a feasible one. Failure to do so would be as though you are blowing out candles on a birthday cake and wishing for the best.
Additionally, if you are specific about your family’s style of homeschooling – you need to leave detailed instructions. Are you a structured homeschooler or unschooler? Do you only use a specific brand of curriculum? … will your person(s) have a clue? I’m not suggesting you spend months on end preparing for the worst, however, the more detailed you are, the easier it will be for them. That is your goal. You want them to WANT to respect your wishes not DREAD it.
Do you have a Will? Is homeschooling in it?
Disclaimer: The above writings are not legal advice. If you are seeking legal advice regarding your LW&T you can only obtain it from an attorney. Only attorneys are able to provide you with legal advice – secretaries, legal assistants, law office employees, and paralegals are NOT attorneys.
I had never considered some of these points. Thanks for sharing!! Great things to think about.
I don’t currently have a will, but it is perfectly understandable that you want someone who will respect your wishes when it comes to homeschooling.
That reminds me, I need to update my will! Great points to consider.
We do have a will, but I wouldn’t request that my in-laws continue homeschooling the kids. Then again, I’m not set on homeschooling for our family – it’s more of the best choice for us right now kinda thing.
Very interesting point!
This totally reminds me that I need to put together a last will and testament but homeschooling wouldn’t be in it. We don’t home school so that wouldn’t be an issue. I would probably ask that the kids remain in private school like they are currently.
Great post you have many good points, yest at least in my family I cannot see anyone being able to continue homeschooling my children and provide for them at the same time. I think it is very important though to know what you want in the event something does happen.